Could you imagine what it was like to be sitting in that locked room aware that there were people outside wanting to kill you? I don’t know about you, but having someone come up and breathe on me probably wouldn’t give me the courage to face something like that. In the passage, however, that wasn’t just a random somebody and it wasn’t just a normal breath - something really incredible happened and it gave the disciples the courage to face their fears and begin evangelizing.

From how we know the disciples - as saints and followers of Jesus - it may seem out of character that there was a time they weren’t yet going to the ends of the earth to evangelize. Just knowing about Jesus’ passion and resurrection isn’t enough to get us to do something about it, we need the Holy Spirit. 

Although we can’t see the Holy Spirit, we can see the gifts and fruits of the Holy Spirit as they are manifested in and through a person - similar to knowing there is wind because the branches of a tree are moving. The third person of the Trinity has always been in existence, but it wasn’t until Pentecost that the disciples received the gift of the Holy Spirit and became aware and able to act from its presence.

Jesus breathing on His disciples to give them the gift of the Holy Spirit brings us in full circle. In the book of Genesis, we read that God breathed life into the first man, Adam, which brought him to a perfect and beautiful relationship with God. At the fall of man, through original sin, death entered into the picture. Now as Jesus, the “New Adam", breaths the Holy Spirit upon His disciples, we are given a new spiritual life.

Through the fruits of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, generosity, gentleness, faithfulness, modesty, self-control, and chastity, and the gifts of wisdom, understanding, counsel, fortitude, knowledge, piety, and fear of the Lord, we are able to fulfill the mission Jesus left us with. This is why the Sacrament of Confirmation is so important! We become sealed with the gift of the Holy Spirit which enables and strengthens us to do our part in building up the Kingdom of God through our service as members of the Church, as one body in Christ.

What are some of the fears that await you outside the doors like pentecost?

How can the gifts of the Holy Spirit help you share the love of God?

​How have you seen the Holy Spirit working in your life?

"Come, Holy Spirit, into my mind."

"Flow, Holy Spirit, in my heart."
​
"Live, Holy Spirit, in my soul.​"

Ask the Lord to make the gifts and fruits of the Holy Spirit super clear to you. Spend time today meditating on these fruits and gifts so you can better recognize them in your life.

How many times in your life have you compared your own situation to someone else’s?  Probably more than you can count. This is what Peter did in today’s gospel.

Remember that immediately prior to today’s passage, Jesus was speaking with Peter and asked him three times if he loved him. Three times Peter responded that he did love Jesus, and three times Jesus implored Peter to feed and tend his sheep. Then, Jesus also revealed to Peter how he would die. Peter saw the Apostle John following behind and asked Jesus “What about him?”

Jesus answered Peter by mildly admonishing him. He finished his response with the phrase “… what is that to you?  Follow me!”. In my opinion, the message of these words is vitally important to our own spiritual journey. What Jesus wants the most is to have an intimate, personal relationship with each of us. Each of our relationships with him is utterly unique. Jesus knows each of us as if we were the only creation God had ever breathed into being, and Jesus will give each of us everything we specifically need.

There is no comparison between my relationship with Jesus, and your own relationship with him which means anything. We all are called to follow Jesus down the path he intends to walk with us.  He knows what we need, and what he wants of us.

Do not let yourself get preoccupied with how well you think someone else prays, or whether they are sinful or not, or how much more or less they seem to be “dialed in” to their faith.  Simply follow Jesus. That is your mission. Get to know him. Listen to how he talks to you in your life.  Be open to him. He has a plan for you, and it is YOUR plan, nobody else’s. He cherishes every moment of the journey you and him are taking together.

In what ways is God working uniquely in your life?

Each of us called to encounter God in and through the Church, Scriptures, and our own personal devotion. How does God most often reveal himself to you? What is he saying now?

What are some comparisons in your life that you get stuck in and how can you avoid that trap of comparison more effectively?

"Jesus you are my Lord."

"I want a relationship with you."

"Come, Holy Spirit."

Reflect on who Jesus is in your life today. Maybe spend some time journaling, drawing, writing a song or poem, talking to a friend, or doing whatever is natural to you to reflect on your own personal journey with Jesus and how he has become and is a personal friend in your life now.

​Let me just start by saying that today’s Gospel reading is quite possibly my favorite reading in all of Scripture. But context is important for us to truly grasp the words that pass between Peter and the Lord so please, bare with me, as I nerd out a bit. 

See in the English language, we only have one word to describe “love” (even though it can mean a number of different things). You can “love” ice cream and “love” your parents, but that doesn’t mean you “love” them the exact same way. The “love” I have for my family far surpasses the “love” I have for mint chocolate chip (though sometimes it’s a closer call than I’d like to admit). 

But in the Greek language (which the Gospel of John was originally written in) they have a number of different words to describe different kinds of love. Today we only need to understand two: ‘Phileo’ and ‘Agape’. ‘Phileo’ refers to an affectionate type of love, more of a fondness towards another. While, ‘agape’ speaks to the highest form of love. A love so great and so deep that is would incite the God of the Universe to die on a cross. 

Why is this relevant? 

Because in today’s Gospel, Jesus isn’t just asking Peter if he loves him over and over again. 

Here’s a breakdown of the conversation that’s a bit more accurate to the original text:

Jesus asks, “Simon, Son of John, do you ‘agape’ me?” As in, “Do you all out, no strings attached, die on a cross for me, love me?”

And Peter responds, “Yes Lord, you know I ‘phileo’ you.” Meaning “I feel affection and a fondness for you.”

The again Jesus asks, “Simon, Son of John, do you ‘agape’ me?”

And, again, Peter responds, “Yes Lord, you know I ‘phileo’ you.”

Finally, the Lord asks, “Simon, Son of John, do you ‘phileo’ me.” 

And Peter responds, “"Lord, you know everything; you know that I ‘phileo’ you."

So what, you might ask, does all this Greek actually mean? What’s the lesson, the takeaway from it all? Well here it is: God meets us where we’re at. He accepts us for who we are. He loves us as he finds us. Today we see how Peter was not able to offer to the Lord the ‘agape’ love that Christ desired from him. And what does the Lord do? Does he run away, cast Peter out, seek out someone “holier?” No. He accepts Peter exactly as he is and calls him to greatness. 

Here’s the thing friends, I don’t know where you are with the Lord, but I do know, from personal experience, that it’s easy to feel like we’re messing this whole “Jesus thing” up. But the Lord, he doesn’t love us because we love him perfectly, he loves us because we’re his. So today let us ask for the grace to accept God’s ‘agape’ love, even if ‘phileo’ is all we have to offer in return.

Do you 'agape' or 'phileo' God? Where are you right now? What might need to change for your love to grow deeper?

Do you think you aren't 'holy enough' to be called one of God's chosen?

Do you feel you're 'messing up this whole Jesus thing'? Tell the Lord about where you feel you need to love him differently. Talk to him about where you're struggling.

"I love you Lord."

"I 'phileo' you Lord."

​"I 'agape' you Lord."

Take some time today to really think about the love you have for God. How can you love him just a little more this week? Make a specific plan for adding a few minutes each day to your prayer life to make your relationship with God an even greater priority.

I don’t think I had ever been so heartbroken as I was when I met a young girl who struggled with severe mental illness. She had shared openly to me about how she had contemplated ending her life numerous times and she did not think she was capable of being loved or forgiven. Truly, my heart sank into that hard church basement chair while leading a retreat for High School students. She was lost and unsure of what hope tangibly looked like. What a terrible place to be in, especially when you feel helpless. Although I felt inadequate to have this conversation with her, words began flowing out of my mouth because my heart was so desperately longing to comfort her and speak truth. 

I am not entirely sure what the Holy Spirit allowed me to say, but I am confident that it was His words straight from the Father’s heart and I simply spoke. We both cried, she hugged me goodbye after the retreat, all with a smile that was no longer lonely, but peaceful. I received a letter from her one year later and she shared how well she was doing with her small efforts everyday to let the Lord love her and fight her battles. 

In today’s Gospel, it is almost like I tangibly hear the longing in Jesus’ prayer for unity of mankind with Him and for the Father’s love to be KNOWN. To be experienced through the Trinity, to be received in the Sacraments, and to be shared through us His followers to the world. In the “I Thirst” Meditation by Saint Teresa of Calcutta, we hear how the Lord misses us when we do not draw near to Him. He actually thirsts for love of us. Jesus even says, “Father they (us) are your gift to me” (John 17). The Lord’s heart is bleeding through these beautiful words of love, that the Lord delights that you are His gift to be cherished, marveled at, and known. The Lord is eager to put on armor and fight for our souls, but He is also gently nudging us to His arms. And the best part is Jesus takes this longing a step further and invites us to become one with Him in the Eucharist. We invite Him to come “under our roof” into our home, our hearts, and live as we are His beloved gift. When we really believe this pure longing that He has for us, how can we ever not lean into hope and allow Him to keep us company and fight any battle of loneliness or inadequacy?

We are not alone. We are not hopeless. Rather, we are His gift...and He is ours. 

Have you ever or are you currently struggling with hopelessness? Which words of Christ in today's Gospel give you peace and comfort?

Do you long to know God's love as He longs to share that love with you? Will you rest in His arms and let Him love you?

How can you respond to God's invitation to be one with Him today? How will you allow Him into your life and embrace the gift of hope and unity?

"You are my hope."

"Let me be one with you."

"You are with me, always."

Focus your hope in Jesus today. When something stressful happens or when you feel tempted to despair or doubt God's love, take a step back from the situation. Take a minute to say a prayer and ask God for His help, that you might remember that He is with you and loving you always. Accept God's gift of love that He has to give to you, and let yourself be His gift in return.